Monday, March 30, 2009



My intent in the past weekend was to release and let go of stuff – emotional stuff or whatever. That process started out feeling pretty good and quickly turned messy.

It wasn’t long before I was wondering thoughts I had wondered many times before – if I’ve totally lost my mind, my bearings, lost everything that matters or ever mattered, am hopeless and without the remotest possibility of having a peaceful life of truth and reality.

Somehow there was at least enough insight to inquire whether all the misery floating by was in fact the release and letting go I’d said I wanted and was up for.

But the answer wasn’t a resounding yes – more like, maybe but who knows?

Today I opened the Tao Te Ching at random and settled on Chapter 36:

If you want to shrink something you must first allow it to expand.
If you want to get rid of something you must first allow it to flourish.
This is called the subtle perception of the way things are.

When so much has been held back for so long, it seems like letting go is a forever proposition.

Where’s the end? When do the tears stop, when does the sense of falling cease?

Oh well.

Letting that stuff expand and flourish, letting it know it can come live in the house and not have to stay in the cellar – maybe that IS the way to shrink it all down to its right size.

Maybe then we can all abide together in peace, truth and reality.


  1. Ooooh CD, I once reached out and shared from my heart how much I feel all you share... in synchronistic artistry only true presence is able to weave...this beautiful tapestry flows on... so appreciate all you share...each stitch out of time you sew... :)

  2. I fully agree with Anonymous. I too genuinely appreciate your vulnerability and deep sharing.
    Please know that it is not falling on deaf ears.

    Many blessings to u....

  3. I echo Mandana and Anonymous and would add you've been particulary prolific lately so whatever you are doing, keep on. Every post lately has been incredible. Poet, musician, engineer and cook. A real renaissance man in the truest sense of the word.

  4. God I love you....