Numinous

“The main interest of my work is not concerned with the treatment of neuroses but rather with the approach to the numinous. But the fact that the approach to the numinous is the real therapy, and inasmuch as you attain to the numinous experience you are released from the curse of pathology. Even the very disease takes on a numinous character.” C. G. Jung

God and Me

A wondrous poem from the writings of the German mystic Angelis Silesius (1624-77).



I know that without me God can no moment live;
Were I to die, then He no longer could survive.

God cannot without me a single worm create;
Did I not share with Him, destruction were its fate.

I am as great as God, and He is small like me;
He cannot be above, nor I below Him be.

In me is God a fire and I in Him its glow;
In common is our life, apart we cannot grow.

God loves me more than Self, my love doth give His weight,
Whate'er He gives to me I must reciprocate.

He's God and man to me, to Him I'm both indeed;
His thirst I satisfy, he helps me in my need.

This God, who feels for us, is to us what we will;
And woe to us, if we our part do not fulfill.

God is whate'er He is, I am what I must be;
If you know one, in sooth, you know both him and me.

I am not outside God, nor leave I Him afar;
I am His grace and light, and He my guiding star.

I am the vine which He doth plant and cherish most;
The fruit which grows from me is God, the Holy Ghost.

Nirdvandra

Presence is all-powerful.

This was the message.

Presence is where we meet God.

The point of integration between conscious and unconscious,
The perfect blending of polarities,
The balancing of opposites.

Nirdvandra

Aliens Among Us

I attended the June Evolver Spore of Reality Sandwich, with the subject “Aliens Among Us.” The discussion was lively and spirited, as nearly everyone has strong feelings about this subject.

Close encounters of the First Kind (CE1K) were defined as sightings of a UFO. CE2K constitute physical evidence, and CE3K result in actual contact with extra-terrestrials.

The Evolver Spore moderator posed the interesting question: How should we react if a CE3K indisputably occurs on a global level? One opinion was that such a development would be frightening. This fear point is based on the assumption that any alien contact would be motivated by the intent of subjugating humanity.

H. G. Wells set the tone for such a pessimistic view with his “War of the Worlds.” The planetary battle theme has been repeated in countless science fiction books and films, including the recent blockbuster, “Independence Day.”

We who live on earth identify ourselves as “earthlings.” Originating from earth also necessitates originating from this particular solar system (which, inconveniently, has no name). It is a reasonable assumption that any extra-terrestrials who introduce themselves will NOT be from our own solar system.

Humans experience in their personal lives the planetary conditioning of the solar system. This is an essential principle of astrology, in which the placement of the planets at birth (and thereafter) synchronistically reflects the energetic influences which are also manifesting in the material realm.

According to this perspective, the “inner,” close planets have the most pronounced and immediate effects upon human behavior. One of the most dramatic of those inner planets is Mars, associated with the “god of war,” whose characteristics are violence, passion, aggression and hostility.

Battle and conflict are thus ingrained features of the human psyche because of Mars in this solar system. Yet, such an aggressive and warlike stance is not necessarily consistent with any alien intelligence that may contact us, which would NOT have been subjected to a Martian influence.

In fact, this assumption is a projection of our own violent dispositions. We are a species with a long history of exterminating its own kind for completely selfish and self-righteous reasons. The image of a technically and militarily stronger (though spiritually impoverished) civilization conquering supposedly inferior ones is a pattern that has resulted in the decimation of many indigenous cultures throughout the world.


This archetypal horror and its resulting guilt rankles the conscience of those who have had nothing personally to do with such atrocities, but are nevertheless the descendents of those who did. From this point of view we are the children of monsters, devils incarnate who have devastated the earth for gain and glory, who have destroyed knowledge and wisdom for the sake of perpetuating their ignorance and prejudice.

We assume - perhaps unconsciously, probably inaccurately - that any other civilization must be as inherently cruel and despicable as us.

Hopefully this is not so. But if it were to be, any resulting conquest by aliens would perhaps be

. . . well deserved.

Reference Reality Sandwich Evolver Spores: http://www.realitysandwich.com/

Dionysus

Fredrick Nietzsche was acutely aware of the existential problem of man – that he is "Apollonian," an egotistical entity divorced from his feeling nature, capable of inflicting death upon his world because he cannot find real life in himself.

Nietzsche’s answer to this was to invoke Dionysus, the ancient god of drunkenness and debauch. He felt society should abandon itself to primitive, instinctual urges in order to regain that lost sense of vitality.

Nietzsche’s reference to Apollo and Dionysus may seem quaint and irrelevant to a modern mentality that dismisses "gods." But C. G. Jung elucidates these same concepts using the terms consciousness and the unconscious.

Contemporary consciousness has been dominated by a sterile, self-serving rationality producing war, disease and all social and personal ills. The antidote, according to many, is wholehearted obedience to whatever makes them feel most alive - no matter how such behaviors may seem to conflict with existing moral or societal strictures.

The unconscious offers an endless variety of insights and impressions, but these are like clouds that materialize in the morning and quickly fade away. A person perceiving them feels wise, but such wisdom is ephemeral and transient unless integrated with conscious awareness.

"Dionysus," is (so to speak) lord the unconscious, though he doesn't require declarations of faith from his subjects. Loyalty and allegiance are permutations of consciousness, whereas the followers of Dionysus are not even aware of being possessed by him. They live "high" without knowing what is truly happening, or of comprehending that their experience - which seems so full - is only partial.

This is unavoidable since the unconscious does not represent the totality of existence. Dionysians seek ultimate fulfillment, yet lose their energies in an exhaustive attempt to find satiety. They are frustrated because it is impossible to debauch to complete satisfaction. However immense the orgasm, whether sexual, political, relational or otherwise, it has one fatal flaw: it ends!

The pleasure of surrender to sensation, though intense, is fleeting. Such experiences are NOT heaven on earth – in fact they might be construed as a definition of hell: Wonderful feelings that don’t last.

Dionysus knows no law, and exerts no limits upon his followers. The native unconscious is immensely powerful in both creativity and destructiveness, but cannot tell the difference between them. Bestiality is the inevitable result, thus Dionysus transforms into a bull at the height of his powers.

It is only the consciousness that can distinguish between health and disease, and determine how the energy of the unconscious can best be utilized. Only consciousness can apply morality, law, and judgment to the questions of life, and discern between right and wrong.

Yet the conscious without the unconscious is, as Nietzsche observed, prone to its own extremes of behavior, to inhumane acts of self interest at the expense of others.

The ultimate solution is for neither the conscious or the unconscious to dominate, but for both to come into balance. Wholeness is only possible when these blend and merge equally, and become in unison what neither could ever be apart and alone.

This is no mere logical or mechanical conjunction, but represents the emergence of a new state of being.  

Beyond the capability or even the knowledge of the Apollonian and Dionysian realms of which it is composed lies a further frontier . . .

Teepee Mandala

I was in a large marble-clad room with a vaulted ceiling. The shape seemed circular. In any case there was a circle of people sitting in it. These were the members of my “dream” group – we had gathered to share with one another the process of our waking dream together.

So I began to tell them a vision I had seen. It was of a large circular mandela viewed not from directly above but rather from the edge, and thus appearing oval. Along the circle’s periphery were twelve stations that were highly energized and in states of transformation.

These stations I understood to represent the various elemental aspects of an individual’s life, which needed to be tuned and set to an optimum state. That optimum state was called the Radix Integra, and depicted by √1, the square root of one.

At the center of this mandala was an Indian teepee. Inside sat a dark-haired young woman holding a child. Both were dressed in buckskin. Outside the teepee a cross-legged Indian warrior was on guard.

Somewhere in the middle of relating this vision, it occurred to me that the dream group itself could be considered such a mandala, and that each person in it compared to those peripheral stations needing to be tuned to harmonize the whole.  Even in realizing this dynamic it began to be illustrated.

Suddenly a rock wall arose between me and the others, and words no longer flowed between us. A state of isolation had been imposed on my station, or someone suggested, cauldron.

My spot in the large room became a separated alcove and I found myself sitting on a bench. Next to me was a young woman (the anima), who accused me of falling asleep while she was speaking to me.

I protested that I would not have done such a thing, but she insisted it was so. In fact, I knew nothing of what she might have said and therefore had to wonder if she was right and I had truly been as rude and insensitive as she was claiming.

Suddenly another woman also appeared, younger than the first (the anima often appears in multiples). This person said nothing to me, but spoke directly to Annie with speech that seemed garbled and unintelligible. Annie responded to her, also in words I couldn’t follow. Yet it was obvious that the two of them were conveying important information to one another.

In spite of my fervent attempt to understand, the conversation was completely beyond me. I heard the words but could not grasp their meaning. I even asked Annie to repeat what she had said, but to no avail.

When they had finished their perplexing dialogue Annie smiled at me and said, “This is the new way.”

What did that mean?

I felt these women, representing the human soul, were creating something extraordinay, perhaps a life experience yet to manifest outwardly. I ought to have been aware of it, and was invited to be, but was unfortunately incapable of such subtle perceptions.  The rational awareness was too dense, too “conscious” in the worst sense of the word, to hear their language and thus be optimally “tuned” by that fore-knowledge to live more truly.

Yet Annie's "new way" suggests that such intimate communications with the psyche are what the future holds for people dedicated to wholeness.  And the collaborative effort by which healing process are accentuated is clearly indicated as effective, while the message of hope is unmistakable.

I believe the teepee at the center containing the Indian mother and child signifies the Self, which is both the initial impetus and ultimate destination of all transformative movement. The guarding warrior could be likened to that shadow dragon common to oriental traditions, the fearsome creature that must be overcome to enter the presence of the Divine. In our American milieu, such an indigenous representation is fitting.

For those who believe themselves to be mentally compentent, it is daunting to realize how small our self-created world of rational intelligence is.  Yet the wisdom we wish would guide us is near, even within.

We must learn to listen. 

Radix Integra

The painting was intended to reflect my own psychic state, the intense desire to find spiritual balance and wholeness.

It named itself. One morning while I was brushing my teeth the words "Radix Integra" came to mind.

Having no idea what this meant, I searched on the Internet. Google returned five entries, only one of which was in English.

This term was from a mansuscript on Hindu-Arab mathematics dating from ca 835 by al-khwarizmi, and means "the perfect square root of a number." 

There is only one number whose perfect square root equals the original number, and that is one.

Then I looked up the individual words. Radix is from Latin and means root or source. It is linked to life-force, Chi and Prana.

Integra is from Greek and means whole or undivided.

Radix Integra, the whole and undivided source of life

Surprise Endings

"There are no surprise endings,

just prayerful or non-prayerful ones."

2012 Living Prophecy

Today's entry is gratis Eden Sky, a researcher into the mysteries of the Maya.  I attended one of her lectures in Portland recently and am passing along her comments about a youtube video that readers here may appreciate: "2012: We are the Living Prophecy."

Count Down

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Greetings Sacred Beings!

Happy MOON OF LIBERATION! (May 2 - May 29)
This is the cycle to let go, dissolve, breakthrough, release, shake it up, welcome creative chaos, let go of form and plans and rigidity and surrender to the universe splattering all the details around in total non-linearity!

The wisdom of Spectral Tone 11 says: "Let us free our self! Let us open and expand to forgive the old - meet the new - and surrender to the spectrum of our eternally evolving being!"

I too am ever-liberating and growing in these times! I finally generated my very first Youtube video! It is called "2012: We Are The Living Prophecy!" Please check it out and share it with anyone you think might be interested. Feel free to share your feedback - it is always lovely to hear back from you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTH_GvKyGAg

Many Blessings to all of you - May we sink the roots of trust deep into the soul of our hearts and find calm, joy and compassionate care for All of Life.

In Lak'ech - I am Another Yourself,
Eden Sky, Red Self-Existing Skywalker

http://www.13moon.com
TIME IS ART!

PS: We are now accepting pre-orders for the upcoming calendar! The cover of the new calendar is attached to this message. Details are here: http://13moon.com/order-calendars.htm

The Psychic Circus

I sat among the audience within a circus tent watching a one-ring show. Many faces, shrouded in the shadows, stared up at the lone performer silhouetted high above by a spotlight.

He clung to a wire attached to the very top of the big top, then slid slowly down. At the lower end of the wire, suspended about ten feet from the ground, was a trapeze. When the performer reached this trapeze he sat on it, then flipped backwards until only his feet were holding on by the ankles.

Upside down, he thrust his arms downward as if feeling for the earth below. But it was out of reach.

As he dangled in the air pivoting and squirming, I saw for the first time . . . the performer was blindfolded.

And I also understood that the point of the show was to see whether this man would try to escape the uncertainty of being suspended - whether he would dare jump to the stability of solid ground.

The scene revealed a strange inversion: normally it is the acrobat who knows the actual risk involved in his performance, while the audience greatly exaggerates it. Circus drama depends on viewer uncertainty, upon magnifying their perception of the danger.

But in this case the audience knew what the performer did not – that the distance between him and security was actually small. So the drama concerned how he resolved his fears about the situation, rather than the situation itself.

I had a seat at the Psychic Circus!

Some elements of the symbolic content of this scene seemed clear – the many faces in the audience represented diverse aspects of the unconscious psyche, while the performer was the egoic consciousness, effectively blind in the realm of deeper realities.

The “circus” suggested the fantastic (as in fantasy) and ephemeral nature of this life’s experiences, their dreamlike claim to a level of importance not merited in the grand scheme of things.

The performer also resembled the Hanged Man of the Tarot, suspended by the ankle with his arms outstretched.

Yet, though the Hanged Man seems helpless and out of his element, this vulnerability is said to be an opening through which greater insight may come.

By becoming consciously aware of what is always true anyway, namely that he IS suspended in the will of the Divine, he has the opportunity to trust rather than oppose such existential uncertainty.

The best response is indicated from the expression depicted on his face, namely

Peace and contentment.

Nursing

I sat near the Anima as she attempted to nurse her young child. Her breasts were abundantly overflowing with milk, yet he would not drink. He slid off the couch upon which she reclined and fussed impatiently on the floor.

Annie called the baby back and he accepted her breast again. But the same refusal to drink occurred, and repeated several more times.

Finally I understood that the child's objection was not to her, but rather to me. It did not want to nurse in my presence.

Jung calls the Anima the nearest guardian of the Self, the entity through which the ego must gain access to its inner truth and divinity.

Mindful of this, I picked up the child, kindly and lovingly, and brought it again to its mother.

Saying, “You must learn to nurse with me here, for we both need to be nourished by her.”

The Program

The Anima had written a program.

As an engineer, programming is my realm of expertise. So I was analyzing Annie's work, looking for mistakes or areas that could be improved. Control in, control out, logic flow, addressing, commenting, it all came under my consideration.

I spent a lot of time reviewing the sequence of operations in her program, what they did and how they did it. At first I felt quite critical, determined to expose the flaws I assumed must be present.

Unlike some dreams in which a person experiences frustration and setback, I was able to trace through the entirety of her logic successfully. And by the time I had reached the end of it, was impressed.


The Anima had a good program. Though from an asthetic point of view I might have ordered some points differently, there was nothing that really needed to be changed. It worked.

Even in the dream I understood that this "program" represented my life. Not in the sense that outcomes were predetermined and immutable, but rather that a superior intelligence was operative and that I could trust the process.

However difficult or contradictory circumstances or events might appear, something very intentional was unfolding - something not in the least arbitrary, accidental or indiscriminant.

The vision was also mysteriously personal. Annie revealed another dimension of herself to my gaze, in a context my rational mind thought it understood.  There was a sense of sharing and intimacy between us, of building confidence.

Then she said, "You get clear on what you get through."

And the message seemed to be: pursue the Process with determination.   Integration is not a random, haphazard event, but follows a specific pattern to reach its conclusion.

The Heroes Journey is universal and archetypal.  There are no shortcuts, nor may any of its checkpoints be ommited.  The Path toward wholeness must be completed, step by step, and then . . .

Clarity will come.

The Anima

In recent years the neglected inner Anima has pushed out into my life in the most dramatic fashion. However much this may have been reflected through unique relationships with particular souls, I now perceive those outer situations as primarily archetypal teaching experiences.

In fact, as the symbolic dimension becomes gradually more apparent and the lessons involved assimilated, my appreciation for the richness and depth of those experiences increases – and the pain of their administration seems less objectionable.

It is no small task to grow up, to become psychically mature. This is what alchemy is all about after all, and no one who has taken up that effort suggests that turning “lead” into “gold” is easy or instantaneous.

The fine distinction is that the alchemist consciously intends what he is doing, and therefore his unavoidable discomfort with the unbelievably rough process of self-transformation is balanced against the wondrous goal he wholeheartedly pursues, namely life eternal.

Life eternal doesn’t mean “living forever" necessarily, but rather living fully and completely . . . now.

But why is the Anima important? According to C. G. Jung, she is the guardian of the Self, the nearest protector and defender of the wholeness within. She is the Mother of the Divine Child, that inner tot who both attracts and repulses us. The Anima is the psychic lover we want more than anything, but who we also cannot stand to be around. 

The conflict and paradox thus implied and expressed is a sign of just how ultimate these primal relationships are - they go to the heart of the dichotomy of spirit incarnate in flesh - the psychic borderline situation which every human being notices to some degree. 

Yet, the level of abject surrender to truth that an integration with the Anima requires is quite beyond what the average person is capable. Average people have to turn into alchemists to even begin the journey.

However much one may desire her, the Anima is not very accessible - at least initially. She also is “guarded” by something - a ferocious beast often characterized as a serpent or dragon.

Oriental sculptures of Kwan Yin depict this monster swirling around her feet, sometimes also holding the sphere of the Self. The creature must be vanquished and integrated in order to reach the holy Treasure.

In the western tradition this archetypal conflict is represented by St. George, who embarks on a quest to slay the dragon that imprisons the maiden who will both love the knight unconditionally and free her people (or country) from an ageless curse. Sounds romantic, but it is actually a matter of psychic life or death.

One of the ways the Anima can be touched is through dreams. Messages may be transferred back and forth by means of images within the ethers of unconsciousness. My Anima (which I somewhat facetiously call “Annie”) has found her voice in this way.

Recently Annie presented the following vision: we were in an apartment together and she entrusted a child to my care so that I could “reprogram” (her word, but I AM an engineer) my relationship with it. This was not just any infant; it was “our” child. I checked the child's diaper and it was full of poop. I proceeded to change the diaper and Annie said I would not have to worry about doing this again as the baby would be “cleaned out” after that.

How do you bring such a vision back into the real world of earning a living and paying bills? To me it comes down to this: the Inner Child (so clearly represented in the dream) has definite needs – love, attention, protection, etc. A caring parent should take care of those infant needs without imposing the stresses and responsibilities of the adult world. That parent should assure the child it need not worry, that everything will be properly taken care of so that both child and adult can become the fullness of what they are.

Implied in this message also is that the Anima, in facilitating this reunion of self with Self, is also allowed to fulfill her ultimate purpose.  She is permitted to emerge into consciousness as both Mother to the Child and Lover to the Man. 

A sacred union of former and seeming opposites ensues,

And all are healed.

Pentecost

On this day Pentecost is commemorated in the Christian tradition. Pentecost is when the Holy Spirit came to earth - fifty days after Pascha.

In the times of the Old Testament, people of Abraham’s descent conceived of God as one entity. With the advent of Jesus the novel idea emerged that God had a Son.

And when that Son ascended into heaven after his death and resurrection, He let people know there was actually a third component of the Godhead, the Holy Spirit. Moreover, Jesus promised to send back this Holy Spirit to continue His divine work on earth:

“But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceeds from the Father, he shall testify of me” (John 15:26).

Contemplating these things while standing in church today, I wondered what the Apostles might have felt when the Holy Spirit descended upon them for the first time. Acts 2: 1-11 says,

"And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.


"And there were dwelling at Jerusalem Jews, devout men, out of every nation under heaven. Now when this was noised abroad, the multitude came together, and were confounded, because that every man heard them speak in his own language. And they were all amazed and marvelled, saying one to another, Behold, are not all these which speak Galilaeans? And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born? Parthians, and Medes, and Elamites, and the dwellers in Mesopotamia, and in Judaea, and Cappadocia, in Pontus, and Asia, Phrygia, and Pamphylia, in Egypt, and in the parts of Libya about Cyrene, and strangers of Rome, Jews and proselytes, Cretes and Arabians, we do hear them speak in our tongues the wonderful works of God."

Obviously it was a tremendous experience, but did the Apostles understand what was happening? Maybe the Holy Spirit gave them the gift of wisdom as well as the gift of tongues, but the Bible doesn’t say so.

They might have been thinking, “Hey, I’m talking in languages I don’t even know! What is going on????”

After all, the Bible makes it clear they weren't always on top of their game. Peter couldn't even walk on water without someone holding his hand.

Maybe such things occur to me because that's how I feel most of the time . . . sort of dull and dim-witted.

But unlike those early Christians who spoke freely and changed the world, my tendency is to shut up and be quiet.

In the face of the confusion and unknowing so evident in my life, it feels pretentious to say much of anything.

So why do so now? Because on this day when the Apostles spoke words they'd never spoken before and probably didn't even know, a friend encouraged me to have another go - to try to communicate on this blog.

The synchronicity was noticeable even to dull me.

Newborn

Gradually you perceive the Presence. And it is not what you had expected.

It comes not as a great cosmic event or stupendous alchemical achievement,

But rather like an innocent child.

The similarities are staggering: the ancients expected Christ to show up as a full blown king trampling down their enemies. But he was born in poverty and humility, helpless and dependent.

With the child there comes a question: will you surrender to the responsibility of caring for an infant? Will you go on together in love?

Though it has no diapers to change, this baby needs constant attention. It wants to feel welcomed, loved, and protected.

You realize that the “one thing needful” is not some object to be found or deed to be done. It is not an acquisition or accomplishment.

It is a relationship requiring self-sacrifice.

Maternal instincts emerge (a strange experience for a man!) Nesting, nurturing, accommodating – attributes of motherhood.

The habitual urge for distraction diminishes, for there is a newborn to care for.

One perceives life anew. The things that had seemed so important simply aren’t now. They were like winds buffeting the house at night, whistling through the corners - expressions of an archetypal pain that has but one answer, one salving. They could frighten because you felt alone.

And now . . .

You are not alone any more.

Good Friday

I surrendered to Lent this year. Embraced the fast altogether. Didn’t even pay attention to the “wine and oil” days when those ingredients were temporarily permitted.

This behavior wasn't motivated by an attempt to be good or spiritual. I just didn’t care that much about what needed to be let go of.

I also went to church a lot more, and for a similar reason. The things that could have been done instead didn't seem very important.

The fact is, I just felt tired of my life as it has been for so long, the appetites and activities of before. I felt weary of the world and its ways in me.

Midway through Lent, a friend invited me to accompany him for a retreat at the Greek Orthodox Monastery of St. Anthony in Florence, Arizona. This struck me as a sign from God.

Five days of  focused spirituality ensued.  We were awakened every night at 12:30 AM, then went into the church and prayed until 5:00 AM. The solemnity of the candle-lit interior, the calm movements of the monks revering icons in the dead of night and chanting (every word in Greek) - were all stupendously beautiful.

After a breakfast of beans and octopus I would stumble into the daylight, crouch among the saguaro cacti, and weep. My life history hung like a curtain of infamy before my eyes, a dark shroud of concentrated evil seemingly defying every aspiration of hope to be a whole and healed person.

And through this, a question presented itself again and again: what, exactly, is the “sacred”?

Is holiness only of the non-immanent God, something completely “other” than humanity, to which we have no access save through the mediation of a savior?

Or is it what we are already at the deepest level – that is to say, our very Being, which no one else can truly mediate?

Or is it both . . . or neither?

I believe life’s purpose is to respond to this ultimate question through transformation . . . by becoming, if this doesn't seem too presumptuous, the answer. The Hero’s Journey is not completed through a statement of faith or mere conceptual schematic, but experientially: begun in quiet humility, ended in triumphant ignominy.

Surely this is the message of Good Friday, for why else would the sinless Son of God be required to die on a Cross?

There is that within us which is destined to reign though born obscure, like Jesus.

Yet as soon as that royal child comes into existence, the powers of the world are out to get it, just as Herod ordered his soldiers to kill the baby Jesus. So Joseph takes the child and flies to Egypt, and into hiding.

The holy infant, the Truth of Being, is hidden from and persecuted by the self-serving humanity which each of us becomes outwardly. This divine child, having no place to rest and lay its head, is rejected and condemned.

Why is this so? Why does the Christ suffer Crucifixion?

Why does He who has authority to command ten thousand angels endure such humiliation? It is an extraordinary paradox, to which theology posits various contradictory interpretations.

Perhaps understanding of this comes to those souls who discern that they have indeed, like Herod, like Judas, like Pilate, persecuted, betrayed and condemned Christ in their own lives - both within and without.

And yet, that through doing so, they now stand at the foot of the Cross and can say with a conviction that was not possible before,

“Truly, this was the Son of God. “

Hen and Egg

The sense of Self needs to be released from bondage and emerge as a new creature, with a new base and foundation. Whether this is a psychological event or mystical one, it is definitely experiential.

In being felt, understanding deepens. There is a perception of actuality, of something real but transcendent unfolding. Belief does not seem to be a factor, neither abstract intellectual grasping.

It is like a mist gradually clearing and revealing the outlines of the moon, whereas before only a vague, diffuse light could be discerned. It is a natural movement manifesting as one returns over and over to a state of watchfulness, like a hen who broods over her nest waiting for the egg to hatch.

One senses how inappropriate and useless are any mechanisms attempting to force or hurry this process. All that is required, and all that is possible, is to diligently, mindfully watch.

"And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch" Mark 13:37

We need only be present, observing the energetic currents as they flow back and forth like waves at the beach or the tide in its rhythms.

This, it seems, is the real deal. This is where the action is.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

At last the old joke is actualized in one's own experience, when we realize . . .

. . . we are both.

The Hare

I was staring into a large aquarium in which a rabbit was sinking head-first toward the gravel bottom. The animal paused in its descent and looked out at me. I could see it was not distressed, and was in fact calmly holding its breath underwater. I got the impression it had been doing so for a very long time already.

Then I woke up and mulled over this peculiar dream, wondering what it was trying to convey. Water is a symbol of spirit, but why would a rabbit be spending time in that?

I picked up my current book, "Man and His Symbols" by C. G. Jung, then flipped a page and immediately read: "The second stage of human life is characterized by the Hare, in which the individual is starting to become socially adapted."

Hmmm. A rabbit, then a hare?  Seemed a bit on the synchronous side.

That night I went to a lecture on the Mayan calendar. At the front of the room was a statue of the Mayan fertility goddess Ixchel, characterized by - guess what? - a rabbit!

Whoa. Synchronicity seemed to be closing in. It appeared that my unconscious was pretty determined to communicate something to the rest of me. Was I getting the message though?

Perhaps it was saying that denial of one's life is an act of self-betrayal, and that inner light needs to be taken from under the bushel basket and allowed to shine.

Or maybe, that to assume oneself "not good enough" is to pronounce God a failure - a deity capable of making mistakes.

Or that staying stuck in a developmental phase allows primal wounds to remain unhealed, and that a soul's journey needs to be understood, accepted and embraced so it can be set free from wherever it is trapped.

Possibly it was just pointing out the obvious - that my creativity and sociability have been submerged long enough and it is time to express them in a new and fertile way.

So I opted for an experiment:

I headed to a Goodwill thrift store to see what might be there as confirmation. I knew this would have to be pretty special - not your typical Easter bunny or cartoon rabbit figurine. It would have to really fit the sober synchronicities that had already been presented.

So I went in like someone picking up a layaway, as though I already knew what was there.

And inside I found . . . a hare

Not looking not down toward the bottom of the fish tank,

But rather up . . . toward the stars.

Dragon Breath

Our real need is not to feel “good” in some fleeting, transitory way, but rather to integrate the experiential journey that brought us to where we now stand. This process may be painful, yet it is necessary for assimilating and viscerally comprehending the implications of that vast trek.

We need to trace the currents and sub-currents of psychic events that have composed this journey and discern the overall shape of their flow. We need to understand how our reality has been formed, deformed and reformed in the process, in order to see ourselves as we really are. We need to reach a more sober and stable energetic state, in which emotional and intellectual movements are coherent with our life-intent.

We should not position our attitudes such as to be indifferent about what has happened. Nor sink into useless condemnation and justification – either of ourselves or others. Rather, we should embrace the experience in its entirety, as its parents and co-creators.

Our darkest shadows have played out onto both the personal and world stages. Yes, we have witnessed the amazing and incomprehensible, not to mention the utterly repugnant.

We have in fact found the enemy, and he is in fact us. Yet any response short of responsible acceptance is a denial of truth, a pushing back into the unseen and the unconscious of what we paid dearly to bring into the light of awareness.

In our bodies, in their very cells, we feel the energetic reality of existence, the dynamism fueling each step that manifests in this moment of decision. Here is the power to go forward, to “move on” with confidence and composure. The dragon has breathed its fire into our lungs and enflamed our hearts.

Yet, whatsoever we deny about our experience and ourselves depletes the future by depriving the present of the rich complexity of all-possibility. With such immense power, we can easily bury ourselves in an early grave.

Or . . . we can build a mountain from which to survey this world

Anew . . . and from on high.

Someone Who Knows What to Do