Nursing

I sat near the Anima as she attempted to nurse her young child. Her breasts were abundantly overflowing with milk, yet he would not drink. He slid off the couch upon which she reclined and fussed impatiently on the floor.

Annie called the baby back and he accepted her breast again. But the same refusal to drink occurred, and repeated several more times.

Finally I understood that the child's objection was not to her, but rather to me. It did not want to nurse in my presence.

Jung calls the Anima the nearest guardian of the Self, the entity through which the ego must gain access to its inner truth and divinity.

Mindful of this, I picked up the child, kindly and lovingly, and brought it again to its mother.

Saying, “You must learn to nurse with me here, for we both need to be nourished by her.”

The Program

The Anima had written a program.

As an engineer, programming is my realm of expertise. So I was analyzing Annie's work, looking for mistakes or areas that could be improved. Control in, control out, logic flow, addressing, commenting, it all came under my consideration.

I spent a lot of time reviewing the sequence of operations in her program, what they did and how they did it. At first I felt quite critical, determined to expose the flaws I assumed must be present.

Unlike some dreams in which a person experiences frustration and setback, I was able to trace through the entirety of her logic successfully. And by the time I had reached the end of it, was impressed.


The Anima had a good program. Though from an asthetic point of view I might have ordered some points differently, there was nothing that really needed to be changed. It worked.

Even in the dream I understood that this "program" represented my life. Not in the sense that outcomes were predetermined and immutable, but rather that a superior intelligence was operative and that I could trust the process.

However difficult or contradictory circumstances or events might appear, something very intentional was unfolding - something not in the least arbitrary, accidental or indiscriminant.

The vision was also mysteriously personal. Annie revealed another dimension of herself to my gaze, in a context my rational mind thought it understood.  There was a sense of sharing and intimacy between us, of building confidence.

Then she said, "You get clear on what you get through."

And the message seemed to be: pursue the Process with determination.   Integration is not a random, haphazard event, but follows a specific pattern to reach its conclusion.

The Heroes Journey is universal and archetypal.  There are no shortcuts, nor may any of its checkpoints be ommited.  The Path toward wholeness must be completed, step by step, and then . . .

Clarity will come.