Monday, December 15, 2008
Michael Brown writes about the importance of “mirror work.” We should look at ourselves in the mirror and express praise and appreciation, even love.
So I got out a little travel mirror and took a gander. But instantly it had to go down again – I wasn’t prepared to see, let alone say anything affectionate about, THAT image!
Never mind the bed head and chin stubble – those things weren’t a problem.
It was the eyes. Fear, grief, anguish – and who knows what other murky stuff – were all lurking there. The sight of this was shocking and unbearable.
After a moment I considered that the image was, after all, me. It was the “me” that lives and breathes in this world and is desperate to find the truth. That is why the fear, grief and anguish show so clearly – they are right on the surface of this present experience.
And so here I was just going to abandon the poor suffering creature yet one more time. I was going to pretend ignorance, like children who cover their eyes thinking that because they can’t see you, you can’t see them.
Sighing, I picked up the mirror again. With effort, I stared at the caricature that stared back and pondered whether there was any way to express affection for this disturbing image.
But that was beyond my ability. Words like “you are wonderful and I love you” were simply impossible.
On the other hand, it WAS possible to speak to the reflection in compassion.
“I can see you are struggling,” I began. “And I’m really sorry things are so hard for you right now.”
A little miracle must have occurred at that point because I DID feel sorry. My heart warmed to the soul who wants to be whole and is willing to go through hell to find its rest and peace.
“I just want you to know,” I continued to the mirror, “that I won’t forsake you. We’re going to get through this, and I will be with you all the way. I believe you can do it.”
Then there were a few tears, and the unexpected realization that . . .
I really did love that person after all.
Posted by DEE at 9:15 AM