Monday, December 14, 2009

Debt Free

In his book The Authentic Tarot: Discovering Your Inner Self Thomas Saunders describes a person’s life as a “play” in which growth toward self-knowledge should unfold through three great “acts” of experience. Act Two, in which one’s inner conflict and conditioning is reflected out into external circumstance to be resolved, is where some get stuck.

Saunders writes:

“The only way we get off this eternal, spinning and not so merry-go-round of Act II is to begin the process of forgiveness. This means forgiveness of mother, father, sister, brother and everyone else in our life, which ultimately means self-forgiveness. Only when we are released from the burden of blame, playing ‘victim’ and this meretricious obligation that we must make a gift, will we be able to complete the play. Otherwise Act II will still be unfinished when we come to the end of this life.”

Pretty scary thought: to come to “the end of this life” without having accomplished what this life is for. And surely it is not “for” making money, achieving success or accomplishing grand things, although these may occur incidentally.

It is for being whole, for becoming who we truly are and always have ultimately been. And forgiveness is the key.

Such forgiveness is of a different order than what one normally imagines by that word. It is not merely voicing sentiments, however genuinely felt, but rather releasing others of their obligations to us. It is freeing them from the unilateral commitment we made on their behalf that they would become “better,” which is to say, able to meet our conditions.

Of course this unspoken commitment is mostly unconscious. We don’t speak of it; we only feel vaguely unsettled and upset. Perhaps we have deeply held residual anger, a smoldering grudge whose flame never dies because of wounds received at someone’s hands.

We are convinced that this supposed assailant needs to apologize, needs to try to “make things right” with us. But maybe they won’t or can’t, or even if they did it would not be enough. Their words of apology would be as ineffectual in soothing our souls as our words of forgiveness in soothing theirs.

At the same time we know that others expect the same of us – the apologies, the groveling humility, the fruitless attempts to make things right by somehow becoming BETTER.

Thus, we all endure an ongoing and perpetual sense of both owing and being owed. For how can any of us pay off our “creditors,” and how can they pay us off? How can anyone prove that they merit unconditional love?

Maybe leaving Act II of life's play begins when a person suddenly “gets” that such proving is impossible. What is owed simply CANNOT be paid back - by anybody, to anybody.

Like the parable Jesus told of a king frankly forgiving a subject who had no means of repaying his vast debt, the only real option is to write the whole thing off.

But this kind forgiveness is not a “word” thing. Nothing needs to be said at all. It happens silently when we decide that no one owes us what we thought they did.

In a serene glimpse of how things really are, we understand that no one needs to pay us back at any time, in any form. We no longer expect an apology, acknowledgement, appreciation . . . or even love.

This experience of forgiveness changes everything. Those we had held under obligation are allowed to go, to totally leave in every way. Contracts are negated, Commitments absolved, agreements released, ties cut, karma unwound.

They can walk away and never look back . . . debt free.


  1. Thanks you for this post DEE, debt can be so blatant and so very subtle on so many levels. I have been pondering in my heart the last few weeks, Jesus's teaching from the Aramaic and how we contain 'All' within, the fullness of God, perfect and complete. It is the poor judgement of the thinking mind that demands betterment from ourselves and's about truly realizing our infinite inner -space huh?

    Love is for-giving from our spaciousness.

    Loose the cords of mistakes binding us,
    as we release the strands we hold
    of others guilt.

    Forgive our hidden past, the secret shames,
    as we constantly forgive
    what others hide.

    Lighten our load of secret debts as
    we relieve others of their
    need to repay.

    Erase the inner marks our failures make,
    just as we scrub our hearts
    of others' faults.

    Absorb our frustrated hopes and dreams,
    as we embrace those of others
    with emptiness.

    Untangle the knots within
    so that we can mend our hearts'
    simple ties to others.

    Compost our inner, stolen fruit
    as we forgive others the spoils
    of their trespassing.

    Loose the cords of mistakes binding us,
    as we release the strands we hold
    of others guilt.


  2. Thanks for that 4:44 post.... :)

    Count thanks for this entry. I give it a big thumbs up and YES from my mature self. From my not-mature self I have to say- What?! I am totally mad about being in this world! Forgive people from having to love me? That sucks! I don't like it. I want to love and be loved back and I'm going to keep going until that's the way it is.

  3. This world is just a wee bit convoluted and it can feel quite uncomfortable here! What I have perceived from my many repeated mistakes and often haphazard experience here, is that cutting ties and letting loose is about not having expectations of particular persons or things. That when we focus first and formost our attention toward God within, hence ourself and others as we are all connected on the inside, then Love flows energetically from Source and fills in the spaces open to receiving. And, we are free to feel the Love that is all around us right now in this moment emmanating from our fellow humans and birds and trees and all in our presence. When we want and need and expect from another and they happen to be tied up, we then bind ourselves to a busy signal kinda thing or we keep ourselves on hold and it stops the flow we could be experiencing huh? If we are wise, instead of grasping and knoting ourselves up with them, we tune in and reach into ourselves and feel around in the dark to untie our own knots. When we let go and cut the ties of expectation, and go in, we open up space for Love to flow and then it becomes a FREE FOR ALL! Debt is about feeling someone owes you, or the world owes you. Cancel all debts and then we make space to tap in and fill up with more Love from our heart source keeping the flow going. If everybody loosened up then we would sing the pro-FUN-dity this Earth life actually is...

    This may be selfish, but I am thrilled you are here on this Earth giving and receiving Love in the beautiful and unique form you have manifested to be here in! Same goes for you Dennis and ALL really. I would like to loosen up and in-joy the Love that is here all-ready... over all, in all, and through all too.

    Thanks for-giving this gracious space in sharing today, I owe you 'ONE'! ;)