Roughcut

Roughcut

One very kind commenter recently wrote:

“You bring us TRUTH in the UNPRETENTIOUS language of EVERYDAY.”

The fact is, I am floundering as much as anyone and don’t seem to know much about truth. Sometimes I feel there are no words to say at all.

Still, I struggle to present my own experience and process as history moves toward the year 2012 and the end of the Mayan calendar.

An important friend said I am inconsistent. Her gift is a very intense mirror experience – one usually resulting in days or weeks of subsequent reflection on my part.

There is truth in this, of course. One need only review these blog entries to see someone who is rough cut, unstable, insubstantial, confused and often desperate, feeling hopeless one day and optimistic another.

In response, I thought: “Yes, here is another of my innumerable deficiencies. So what can I do to become consistent?”

It was typical – the focus on what is wrong, the never-ending effort, the vain and hopeless battle to make it right or at least better.

A person naturally wants to be great, an inspiration, a champion, someone shiny and perfectly formed like a jewel, reflecting the light of life and being all around to others.

Then this morning I read from Chapter 39 in the Tao Te Ching:


The Master views the parts with compassion,
because he understands the whole.
His constant practice is humility.
He doesn’t glitter like a jewel
but lets himself be shaped by the Tao,
as rugged and common as stone.

These words tugged at my heart. Yes, this is how I feel – as rugged and common as stone. No smooth faceted edges reflecting brilliance, nothing special at all. Totally rough and inconsistent.

And I realized – not in defiance or self-justification – this is just it, exactly how it is.

And I guess . . . it is OK.