Married to a Dream
I was married to a dream – to many dreams, in fact. Some dreams ended after a painful divorce, others continued to hang on through hope, denial and estrangement.
Some of my marriages involved people and some didn’t. For instance, I was married to the dream of fame and success. She is a demanding and jealous lover, one not easy to get over.
And now I see, though it seems strange to say it, that I was married most assiduously to myself. I embraced that thankless person with dedication and perseverance, and endured all kinds of abuse and infidelity in the name of our supposed union.
Yes, that has been the most intense matrimony of them all. It has driven me to the edge - way past despair and distraction.
But finally . . . it seems a divorce is in the making. Our paths have diverged too much – the noisy world of egotistical self-absorption has become unbearable.
I seek quiet, solitude. The spirit of ambition and acclamation is too hard on my nerves. I want to be content with the truth of what has already been given.
So we stare at each other feeling both elated and disconsolate at the separation - which grows more marked daily.
“Goodbye,” I say to myself.
“Goodbye,” myself says back.
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ReplyDeleteAmazing post - really enjoyed it - such a liberating feeling to it ...
ReplyDeleteThanks
merrier NOW fur sure.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of like now I see hidden meanings and new depths to your "Always saying Good bye" writing in June 09.
ReplyDeleteYour wild!
My word verification was 'blywork'.
ReplyDeleteMade be think of Robert Bly's book " Iron Man".
In that book he talks about the boy to evolve is required to let go of Mothers' grip.ha ha
Probably true for z females too ya?
Well I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who reads back and I have to say CD on another you talked about having no insight, it's so true, my memory is like a seive, I'ts like I never read this one although, I remember at the time feeling it's profundity lol ... for me, it's just as important to let go of the 'stories' I create in what I think is my deepening insight into hidden meanings,too ya? lol!
ReplyDelete